I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
