If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
