i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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