i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
