people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
