soooo we both peed the bed last night...
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Randomize
