theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Sorry my hands just texted you
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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