K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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