im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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