Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
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