HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
