So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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