I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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