Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize