your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
