Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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