Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
