Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
