i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
