Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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