u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
