Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Randomize