You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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