so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
