Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Randomize
