Say something about gay babies.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
