she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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