im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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