I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
