pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
