party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Randomize
