I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
