ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
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