is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
