I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
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