I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
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