in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
