Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
