mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
