i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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