So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
