I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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