I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
