I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
