dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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