then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
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