i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
