HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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