I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
