How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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