I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
